A few days ago I read an article written by a young mum, outlining the stigma she faced while pregnant and parenting her daughter. Yep, I thought, I can relate. Then I scrolled down to read the comments... the absolute ripping she received was unbelievable. Here I'll paste some DIRECT comments:
Blaine (Blaine?!) of Melbourne
Absolute rubbish!!! Another young mum complaning about a non-existiant 'stigma'. Get on with it!!! (such spelling, much smart).
Bitten
Bitten
Oh, for the love of f**k. Stereotypes don't exist because they're never true. Most lawyers are wankers. Most doctors are arrogant with no bedside manner. Most public servants are lazy because they earn their quid whether the work gets done or not. And most 'young' mothers don't put a great deal of thought into creating life - it just kinda 'happened' with sex and contraception is like a totally long word, totes right? You're NOT exactly like the stereotype? Congratulations to you. Welcome to being the exception that proves the rule *slow clap*
Jamie
Jamie
Load of rubbish, try being a mum over 40, or having no kids at all, kids having kids, ridiculous, can barely look after themselves. Living off the government, their babies growing up to be teenage mums too, just sad really, and rising all the time, disgusting.
Even though Jamie's fondness of long sentences is almost criminal, it can be assumed that these people are just normal people. I like to imagine them to be perfectly lovely, with their own happy families and homes. But something else I can assume is they probably have not had any close contact with a teenage mother. Because if you honestly think stereotyping of teenage (or young) mothers does not exist, I'm glad you live in a world where you haven't been exposed to it - like every form of discrimination, it's freakin' nasty.
The first time it happened to me was when I was getting a blood test, one of the various tests you get during pregnancy. I was asked my date of birth by the woman processing my sample. After I told her, she did a double take. "1994? That would make you... 15." I agreed with her, impressed by her excellent detective skills - I was indeed 15. After I nodded, she looked me up and down and audibly scoffed, shook her head and said, "What a waste of a life. You're much too young." Wait... do you mean to say that 15 is not the ideal age to start your family? You don't say! My eyes were truly opened that day by that horrible woman. Little did I know that this was the first in many similar encounters.
I became too scared to go out by myself, because everywhere I went I was stared at and whispered about. You might think I am exaggerating, but I want to make 100% clear that I'm not. I would walk through the shopping centre with my mum or my sister, and people would visibly point at me and laugh, or whisper to the person they were with (loud enough for me to hear on most occasions). At the time I had one of those absolutely ridiculous Formspring accounts, and people (which I can assume were my peers) were leaving me comments saying I should die for keeping my baby, that I was a terrible person, that I'd just f****d up my life, and hers as well.
About 22 weeks in to my pregnancy, I bought a gold-plated wedding ring set off eBay, I was that bloody ashamed of myself and my pregnancy. I wore it when I went out in public. Thinking of how I felt at that time makes me physically ill. Already I was emotionally stretched to the absolute limit, without the consistent cyber abuse and public humiliation. Needless to say, I deleted my Formspring. I went everywhere with my mother, who protected me like every mother would.
Even now, with my daughter 4 years old and both of us thriving, people still ask me why I continued my pregnancy. When I first meet people, they very often ask me, "So is the dad still around...?" In case you weren't aware, that is a form of stereotyping (not to mention rude and an incredibly personal question to ask of someone you have JUST met). Only recently Charlotte was referred for a development scan, with these exact words: "We often see developmental delays in children of young parents."
If you think teenage parents do not face stereotyping and stigma, then I am truly happy you haven't experienced it. Assuming I am uneducated, ignorant, uninformed, a 'slut' (one of the many ugly words I've been called) or a 'dole-bludger' is basically complying with the labels that society slaps on me, like I am some sort of cookie-cut out. Having my parenting questioned on the basis of my age is completely out of line. I ask of you to challenge your preconceived ideas, of ANYONE, the next time you meet someone new, and approach them with a clean slate. Teen parents like me will thank you for it.
Even though Jamie's fondness of long sentences is almost criminal, it can be assumed that these people are just normal people. I like to imagine them to be perfectly lovely, with their own happy families and homes. But something else I can assume is they probably have not had any close contact with a teenage mother. Because if you honestly think stereotyping of teenage (or young) mothers does not exist, I'm glad you live in a world where you haven't been exposed to it - like every form of discrimination, it's freakin' nasty.
The first time it happened to me was when I was getting a blood test, one of the various tests you get during pregnancy. I was asked my date of birth by the woman processing my sample. After I told her, she did a double take. "1994? That would make you... 15." I agreed with her, impressed by her excellent detective skills - I was indeed 15. After I nodded, she looked me up and down and audibly scoffed, shook her head and said, "What a waste of a life. You're much too young." Wait... do you mean to say that 15 is not the ideal age to start your family? You don't say! My eyes were truly opened that day by that horrible woman. Little did I know that this was the first in many similar encounters.
I became too scared to go out by myself, because everywhere I went I was stared at and whispered about. You might think I am exaggerating, but I want to make 100% clear that I'm not. I would walk through the shopping centre with my mum or my sister, and people would visibly point at me and laugh, or whisper to the person they were with (loud enough for me to hear on most occasions). At the time I had one of those absolutely ridiculous Formspring accounts, and people (which I can assume were my peers) were leaving me comments saying I should die for keeping my baby, that I was a terrible person, that I'd just f****d up my life, and hers as well.
About 22 weeks in to my pregnancy, I bought a gold-plated wedding ring set off eBay, I was that bloody ashamed of myself and my pregnancy. I wore it when I went out in public. Thinking of how I felt at that time makes me physically ill. Already I was emotionally stretched to the absolute limit, without the consistent cyber abuse and public humiliation. Needless to say, I deleted my Formspring. I went everywhere with my mother, who protected me like every mother would.
Even now, with my daughter 4 years old and both of us thriving, people still ask me why I continued my pregnancy. When I first meet people, they very often ask me, "So is the dad still around...?" In case you weren't aware, that is a form of stereotyping (not to mention rude and an incredibly personal question to ask of someone you have JUST met). Only recently Charlotte was referred for a development scan, with these exact words: "We often see developmental delays in children of young parents."
If you think teenage parents do not face stereotyping and stigma, then I am truly happy you haven't experienced it. Assuming I am uneducated, ignorant, uninformed, a 'slut' (one of the many ugly words I've been called) or a 'dole-bludger' is basically complying with the labels that society slaps on me, like I am some sort of cookie-cut out. Having my parenting questioned on the basis of my age is completely out of line. I ask of you to challenge your preconceived ideas, of ANYONE, the next time you meet someone new, and approach them with a clean slate. Teen parents like me will thank you for it.
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